Tattered Feathers
by thecupcakeimp
Summary: Near has been kidnapped by the escaped psychopath BB, and a dark stain blurs the new peace. Force the choices, fix the forgotten, take back your lies. M for lemon, and general dark content, AU. MattxMello MelloxNear MattxMelloxNear NearxBB
1. Prologue

_Tattered feathers fall to the filthy ground,_

_Why dost thine eyes grow dim?_

_Keep your weary words of sin,_

_For they are not what we have found._

_

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_

**Prologue**

Mello opened his eyes and realized immediately that there was something hot and sticky across his face. His hand jerked to his old scar-the one from the explosion-but no, not that. His head. Slowly, carefully, he leaned up, dizzy and a little disoriented.

"Near?" he called groggily. No answer. "Near?" he called a little louder. "Dammit, where are you?" He looked around the room.

It was sort of neat and sort of orderly for Near's sake, but there was a certain disorder to it. That was for the visiting new SPK members. Mello… still didn't like them. So the disorder was his little display.

He slowly picked himself up. Something… was wrong. It was that eerie silence that came only after tragedy or calamity struck a place. The door back into the main room was ajar.

Something red was smeared on it.

Mello made his way over, holding his throbbing, aching head. It wasn't blood… it smelled… sweet.

Sweet like-

No.

The chances were so close to zero.

But it was strawberry jam all the same.

"Near, answer me! Where the fuck are you?" Mello called his voice tense. No, it wasn't _him._ He was locked in an asylum. The only reason he wasn't dead was because he had been found innocent for reason of insanity. Mello entered the main room.

Close to his feet a robot lay on the ground. Broken.

Cards were everywhere.

Countless.

A chair lay on the ground, toppled over.

The window was broken, glass sparkling with false cheer.

A few droplets of blood on the cards, the table, smeared on the window.

Mixed with the cards on the table, what few were left there, was his photograph, taken so many years ago. Well, it seemed to be long ago because of all that had happened since then. The explosion, finding Matt again, giving in to the fact that he and Near would work better as a team in their own way, the overturn of Kira, the world returning to normal.

He turned the photograph over, and there were new words.

_Dear Mello,_

_Please forgive me for never trying to underst-_

A streak at the end of understand.

In the center of the room, perfectly the center, was a jar of strawberry jam.

Beyond Birthday. BB.

He left his signature.

BB had Near.

How the fuck had—Mello pulled out his cell phone with shaking hands, and speed dialed two.

"Mello?" came a tired answer after a few rings.

"Bb kidnapped Near." There was a clatter of sound and a few curses, and Matt picked his phone up again.

"When? How?" he spluttered.

"I-I don't know. I got knocked out and—there are things that don't—" Mello stopped, and froze.

There was something nailed to the wall.

A voodoo doll—a Wara Ningyo.

Of Mello.

He slowly approached it- it was definitely an eerie representation.

"Mello! Mello—fucking answer me you bastard!" Matt was shouting to try and get his attention again.

"BB—he…"

"What is it?"

"We have to bring him down. For good."

"We will."

"I'm gonna fucking shoot him on sight."

"Think-"

"Fuck no, Matt, get your ass here. Now. Be here in twenty minutes."

"Gotcha." With that, Matt hung up.

Mello sank to the floor, staring at the doll nailed to the wall through the head.

BB was making his return.

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A/N: Bwahahahahahaha!!! w So, this is the project that I've started working on after finishing And That Was. I think... I'm having too much fun with it. Tee hee! Hope you enjoy this one, and thanks to everyone who is reading.

You guys rock.


	2. One

_The feathers have blown away_

_Now they are dyed a crimson red._

_My, my, why isn't the bird dead?_

_Must it take so long a stay?_

_

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_

**One.**

Matt walked in after exactly twenty minutes had passed. Mello stormed over, eyes wide, and surprisingly full of fear.

"Matt—It was him, he had to have escaped somehow—"

"Hey, calm down, we'll—"

"This is L's fucking—"

"Shut up!" Matt shouted, making Mello wince in pain at the loud cacophony of sound reverberating in the room. "Now, let's make sure you're not going to keel over in a second or two. You look like you got hit with a brick or something, and I swear, if your skull was any thicker…" Matt muttered as he forcefully directed Mello to the kitchen. "Start ranting your name and age and shit like that." Matt received a rather fierce glare from the other as he took a warm washcloth to his forehead.

"Matt-" and it was the redhead's turn to glare.

"Mihael Kheel, twenty two, and I hate you."

"Good. Never hurts to check."

They were silent for a moment—Mello was still shaking.

"So," Matt said, "How do you know it was BB?"

"There's jam smeared on my door, a jar of it was in the center of the room and—and he left a Wara Ningyo of me nailed to the wall." Matt's eyes widened a little behind his goggles.

"No doubt anymore… but how did he escape…?"

"He was going to be L before he went psychotic. Of course he escaped."

Mello snatched the washcloth from Matt to fix himself up, stubborn as ever. Matt went out into the main room to take a look around. It was so strange. He had always wanted Near to vanish but… not BB. Not that demented bastard. They wouldn't check for fingerprints or any of that- it was time to cut straight to the chase. Literally. There wasn't any doubt of who the kidnapper was.

Matt noted that the jam jar was no longer in the perfect center of the room. It looked like Mello had kicked it, and it was broken, the jam splattered on the wall. Matt turned away to the broken window, with its glittering glass. The mid-afternoon sun seemed so far away, dimmer than usual. The sun held no mirth today. It was solemn, like a search light with a wide beam.

"Mello… what will you do…?" Matt whispered to himself as he glanced back to the kitchen door.

After Kira and he and Mello had gone back to L.A., disappearing into a more normal lifestyle, Near had followed and found them.

Matt and Mello had shared a lot when Kira was around. But then the strangest, most perplexing thing had occurred. Mello had dropped Matt like a broken toy, and went on to Near. Matt had bitten his tongue to keep his bitter words and thoughts to himself ever since.

Was… this a chance?

He didn't normally like to be one of the scheming ones but… it wasn't as though he held malice.

Just desperation.

Someone was humming.

Near opened his eyes—but he was blindfolded. He was being carried somewhere. It was an eerie tune, the one his kidnapper was humming. It sounded like an nursery tune taken into a minor key. He tried moving, but something sharp, cold and thin touched his neck in warning.

"Oh so the little dove is awake!" an eerie voice to match the eerie tune. The voice echoed.

"Who are you?" Near demanded. His blindfold was removed.

It was L. And yet it wasn't.

Dark ruffled hair, wide black eyes with deep shadows beneath them, and he was wearing what looked like a torn straight jacket.

"Beyond Birthday," Near breathed, shuddering.

BB moved forward and kissed him almost tenderly. Near struggled, but BB held him still.

"There, there, dove. You weren't this objective the last time we met."

"That was entirely different," Near said.

"No, not really," BB said and circled him, "This is just like then. Because I am L, but I am not."

"No, you-"

"Shut up, little dove, or else you might get hurt." BB peered at him through empty eyes that held none of L's good will, eagerness, concentration. These dark eyes were a chaotic void. "You're mine now, you belong to me. You will do everything I say, and you will realize that L was simply nothing. I'll get my point across this time."

BB grinned at Near, looking crazed.

Matt returned to Mello, who was now hunched over, head in hands.

"Matt, we have to get set up. We have to pretend to be him."

"What?"

"What do you think people would do if they found out that 'L' is missing? We have to take over for him. We'll switch working on his cases and searching for him."

"Mello, you're panicking."

Icy eyes looked into ones filtered by orange.

"This is BB we're talking about, Matt, there is no such thing as 'panicking' when it comes to him! You remember the story L told me, right? We've got to get him back as soon as we can! So shut up and get a move on!" Mello spat and heaved himself up. He went through another door, into what seemed to be the work room. There were screens lined up all along one wall, orderly stacks of paper and pictures, files, and file cabinets, a few piles of chocolate bar wrappers, and a small tower of dice.

They could do everything from this room. They could make a start.

After all, the clock was ticking.

Tick, tick, tick.

Near watched BB's every movement.

How could he get out of here?

His gray eyes glided around the area.

This was… terrifying.

He didn't know where he was, but he knew BB had taken him here through the sewers. BB let out a low giggle, dark eyes just wide voids.

"Dove, have you ever _used_ a Death Note?" he asked, running a hand through a tuft of white hair.

Near steeled himself, and said nothing.

He would do nothing, say nothing.

He had not spoken for a day now. Not let out a single sound.

"Hm… would you like to? Go on, surely you want to write something down. Surely there's _someone_ you hate. What about… dear Mello? You know his name. Or matt, the jealous one…" BB's eyes were slits as he flitted around the room, his movements seeming wrong somehow. Awkward.

Had… BB been watching them somehow for- for how long?

"Yes, I know all about you and Matt trying to win your finicky chocolate lover's heart. The truth is he's leading _you_ on."

Near knew this was simply BB twisting the situation to try and break him. He knew of Mello's inner struggle. He and Mello had spoken of it often, while working on cases.

He said nothing. He knew Matt would never do anything. Matt was… he never wanted to try. Matt was the masochist. He simply wouldn't. He was one of those sad people who were always half in love with tragedy.

"You're good, little dove. Didn't even blink an eye." BB ran a hand almost lovingly. Sickeningly so. Near narrowed his eyes.

"I'll tell you something, Dove. The more you cooperate, the better off you'll be. I'm sure you've heard my story from dear Mihael…"

BB knew Mello's name.

And BB also had a Death Note.

_Some weeks earlier._

_It was time to rid the world of the notes. He held the Death Notes over the candle. There was a flurry of movement and the room was suddenly bathed in darkness, the candle blown out- smoke curled in the starlight._

_A figure sat before him._

_Crouching in the chair._

_"L?" Near said questioningly on a childish whim._

_"Yes and no," the figure said, and leaned closer, "Wait to destroy it." L-but-not-L got up, and as quickly as they came, they left._

_Near was left, for once in his life, oddly heartbroken and bemused._

_

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_A/N: Wohoo! First chapter up! ^_^ Goodness, I have to admit, this is fun to write. I'm not usually one for long plotlines that end up getting complicated, since I prefer to write things with simplicity as a main factor, but this... is part experiment part demented idea that PeppermintMocha and I came up with. She wanted a BBxNear fic, so... this bugger came to me. Hope you enjoy it, darlings!


	3. Two

_Wings flutter in such a useless way,_

_Pointless and broken if they are clipped._

_For when they have been ripped,_

_There is no hope with anything to say._

_

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_

**Two.**

"Mello?" Matt said as he spun his chair around. It had been a week. One long torturous week.

The blonde had barely slept at all. Long after Matt gave up for the night, Mello would sit and continue the search. He seemed tired, and haggard looking. But he was relentless.

"Yeah?" he said, a little hoarsely.

"Why don't you—"

"I'm not going to stop."

"If I was the one who had been kidnapped… would you?" Matt whispered, lifting his goggles to watch Mello, who had frozen.

The blonde turned to him and tossed a chocolate wrapper off into a pile that was steadily growing.

"No, why?"

"Then… why did you leave? After—after everything I did for you… It was almost like you'd left me at Whammy's again. I haven't heard from you in months until now. Mello- why?"

"I… don't know."

"I would have _died_ for you! I nearly did, if you don't recall! If those police had decided that death was the only punishment acceptable for anyone dissenting from Kira, I would have died! I waited for you in fucking prison for two days, and they interrogated me and fucking tortured me, and I didn't say a word! Why? Because I haven't stopped loving you since—since—I've always loved you! And you just _walked away_. You walked away and call back eight months later saying your creepy little bastard got kidnapped, and you expect me to just leap in? I'm _not_ your dog, Mello! You can't—you can't keep doing this to me! I'm not your dog. I'm that kid from Whammy's that was there for you when you got beaten by Near again, when some idiot thought it would be funny to cut your hair, when you missed Slovenia, when someone had to keep you from strangling the kid that lost your soccer ball, when Kira beat L, when you were in an explosion because you fucking wired it yourself, when the Mafia was gone, when you were covered in blood, when—when—I was there for _everything_!" His fists were clenched, and he seemed caught between anger and the most heartbroken expression Mello had ever seen.

Matt's hazel eyes revealed all his loneliness, pain, and love.

"And what was Near there for? You to yell at?" Matt's voice cracked.

Mello watched him with sadness in his clear blue eyes.

"Matt…" he whispered, "I just…"

"You what, you got bored with me?"

"No," Mello suddenly leaned over and kissed him- and Matt couldn't bring himself to pull away, "I just… have shit to work out."

"Like what? Why did you leave?"

"I don't know…"

"How can you not know!?!"

"You want an answer? Because I didn't know what the fuck Near's deal wais, I couldn't figure him out—"

"You liar! You—"

"Don't call me a liar when I'm telling you the damned truth! I had to figure out if he loved me and what the fuck I should do about it!"

"That doesn't mean you had to leave! The least you could have done was say, 'Matt, I'm moving on,' and maybe I'd be okay! It would have been better than sitting around day after day, waiting for you to come back! And you never did!"

"I didn't say anything because I didn't _want_ to leave!"

"Even though you left, you could have called, or even come back!"

"Matt, I-"

"No! That's fucking _it._ I'm going. Good luck on finding your stupid albino." Matt flipped him off, and walked out of the room.

"Matt, wait! Don't-!"

The door slammed shut.

Near was looking even more pale than normal. He still had not said a word. A week.

He had also gained BB's trust enough to walk around for a time in the empty room he was held in. But BB locked him in a crate frequently enough. Near's will was beginning to break.

BB was leaving him with time to think. Plenty of it. He would come in and tell him that he was not free, never would be, that Near _belonged _to him, that there was no chance of escape, that Mello had simply been toying with him all along.

Near knew it was lies, but just hearing it and having time to mull it over in his mind, hear the words echo… he didn't believe them, but BB knew too well how disheartening they were.

BB just looked so much like L, and in a sick way, Near wished he was. He almost wanted to trust him. That was why he was almost _letting_ it happen. A whisper, and he would close his eyes, pretend it was L, and he was okay.

He could believe in L.

At first, when Mello woke—it was four twenty-seven in the morning—he didn't know why. But then he felt the bed shift, and heard quiet sobs. He scratched at his scar as he turned over.

Matt was back.

His back was turned to Mello, and he was crying.

"Matt…?" he placed his hand on the redhead's shoulder and it was thrown off. "Why did… you come back?"

"Because I _can't_ make myself leave, no matter how hard I try," was the shaky reply Mello received.

The next day they acted as though nothing had happened—but there was a certain distance between them. They worked cases and searched the news everywhere—any glimpse of white hair. It was quiet.

How decisively cruel fate was. Matt or Near? Matt, the one who had always been there, would never—_could_ never abandon him, or Near, his competitor, his rival, the one who oddly enough understood his drive to solve crimes.

They…

Which one was love, and which was a curiosity?

Was one truth the other lies?

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A/N: Wow, two chapters up in one day! ^_^ I'm rather proud of myself. Anyway, to everyone who is reading this, thank you very, very much for reading it! If you want me to be perfectly honest with you, I dont' know where this is going any more than you. I'm slightly insane, and keep planning to a minimum. I sit down, and I write. I let the characters run a little rampant. The only editing this gets is when I type it up. A lot of the BB and Near moments are written with Haunted by Evanescence in mind, because of what little I have planned is coming. And goodness gracious, this is so strange. But I love writing it. Yeah, I'm insane. ;D

Once again, thanks for reading! 3


	4. Three

_Crimson, crimson of the blood you drip,_

_It stains the bird's little beak._

_Now, no more do your eyes seek!_

_Not a single sigh escapes your lips!_

_

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_

**Three.**

Near leaned his head back, eyes closed tightly.

BB ran his hands along Near's pale chest, his lips on his neck.

Near was pretending. He had thrown himself head-first into convincing himself this was L. It was the only way he could keep himself sane. It had been two weeks since the kidnapping.

The thing of it was that he had never even liked L all that much—even had a certain animosity towards him, but as BB coaxed a gasp from him, it was all he could do.

There was blood on his hands now.

He had used the Death Note.

He had also trespassed on private property to commit murder for BB.

He couldn't abide white.

Near also knew that if Mello didn't hurry…

He tried not to make too much noise, but BB never failed to force him to let out a cry as he released, in some strange, wrong mixture of pain and pleasure.

Near could not stop shaking.

It was no longer fear.

His arms were tight around BB as though he wanted there to be more contact between them. No, it was not fear. Beyond Birthday—L—BB moved his hand to Near's silken white hair and yanked as he licked across his collarbone. His skin was so sensitive everywhere. He was almost painfully aware of the concrete beneath his bare skin, BB's skin all over his own, the very air around them. There was not a place BB scraped his fingernails—his chest, his thighs, his arms, his back—that did not force him to want more.

BB never rushed. He was keen on making Near _want_ to get his release, to need him. His Dove was doing so well, becoming so obedient.

He could tell that Near was pretending. All the better, for that meant he would _become_ even better.

Near let out a louder moan, muffling it by kissing BB as a slicked finger pressed into him.

BB pulled back.

"No, sing for me, Dove," he said with a slightly raspy, lusty voice.

Near squirmed and gasped as a second was added, his bark arching in a graceful curve as a third was inserted. BB pulled them out as soon as Near was adjusted, and held the boy's arms against the cool concrete that had grown less cold, absorbing the heat they created. He thrust himself in, and Near let out a cry that echoed in the small room.

In Near's mind, this was L.

It was a sick sort of love.

They rocked their hips together, and Near became even more disgusted with himself as he craved _more_ of BB—L—Beyond Birthday.

BB could tell.

He drove them faster, driving harder into Near, the white-haired boy moaning beneath him, pale face flushed with need. He smirked wickedly as he bit Near's neck again, reaching between them to stroke quickly, running his thumb along the head of Near's neglected length.

Near let out a scream, half utter hopelessness and release as he came between them, hips bucking as BB came inside him. His breathing broke its erratic pattern as he struggled to slow it down.

Near felt no satisfaction.

Only emptiness—as though his heart had decided to die.

BB pulled out and kissed him tenderly. He ran his long bony fingers through Near's white hair again.

"Ah, my little Dove…" he whispered in his ear, soft and loving in all the wrong ways.

"Beyond—why?" he asked, breathless, gray eyes searching the ceiling for answers in vain, half covered by charcoal dark hair.

"Hm? Because you are mine."

"Why am I here?"

"You would certainly like to know, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"If you can say you love me."

"I do. I love you." Not a second of hesitation. Not one glint of dishonesty in his silvery eyes. Near was not lying.

"Good. You are here because I like to play, and I wanted to prove the point that L was nothing. That he could have been the same as me. That you are all the same as me. That I'm not broken, it's you silly children that are."

"It's true," Near whispered.

"Good. Dove, I want you to deliver something for me."

"Anything."

"I want you to deliver a message to Mihael," Near froze, "And you know what will happen if you do not return." Now he hesitated, an imprint of the Death Note's cover flashed upon his mind's eye.

"Yes. I know."

"You are my message. Tell him you will not go back to him. You want to stay with me don't you, Dove?"

"Yes." _I will stay with you, L, because I believe in you._

He couldn't leave if he wanted to. He needed BB now, and it was disgusting.

"Good, Dove," BB murmured and kissed him again.

Mello pushed his chocolate bar aside.

"I don't' care, you need to pay me properly. I don't care if you don't have it, you need to pay the promised amount. You miscounted three thousand dollars," Mello growled into the voice distorter.

"I thought it was you, M," a woman's voice answered.

"Don't give me shit like that, H!" Mello stood, his chair getting flung out behind him as he slammed his clenched fists on the desk.

"I need to speak with N."

"You can't."

"Oh?"

"Get- get a secure line. I might need the help of WH."

"Alright."

Click.

"You sure, Mell?" Matt said carefully from behind him.

"We… It's been two weeks. We might need the network." The network set up by all Whammy's children.

"Mello?" the voice spoke through different speakers.

"Halle—BB's loose."

"I know he—"

"He has Near."

Silence.

"You've done well keeping it quiet this long."

"I've tried…"

"Halle, we can't last too much longer," Matt said. He had never really liked Halle too much because she seemed to have this odd flirting deal with Mello that just pissed him off, but he looked to her in an almost 'big sister' sort of way. She had been there for Mello when he had nowhere to go, helped him until he joined the Mafia.

"No, I wouldn't think so. Do you want me to contact—"

"Don't contact anyone." Mello's brows knitted together as he scowled.

"Then what will you do?" she asked.

"I'm going to kill BB."

"For Near?" Halle seemed shocked. Mello's scowl deepened and he took up his chocolate again.

Snap.

The sound echoed in the uncomfortable silence.

"Yes, for Near. Beyond Birthday needs to get a shot to the head," Mello's tone had taken on the old dangerous edge, the old smirk back. This… this was Matt's Mello. The one that never changed, the one he loved. The one that was his—and not Near's.

"Be careful you two. And Matt, make sure—"

"That Mello doesn't become a psychopath. I've been trying that for years," the redhead groaned. Halle chuckled.

"You two are the same as ever. Good luck. I won't notify anyone, but if Near is not back within the week, I'll have to." She left.

Mello threw his chocolate across the room, the sound thunderous as it broke on the file cabinets.

Time.

Hadn't enough already slipped away before they could protest?

* * *

A/N: Whoaaa! I think I'm having too much fun with this. Let me tell you, the scene between Near and BB was written in health class. So ironic. I mean, really? That cracked me up. Either that or I have a really, really sick sense of humor. XD Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! ^_^ Finals week is coming up, which is code for major writing time. I am cursed with being a fast test taker- and end up with loads of time on my hands. So, hopefully, I'll be able to get a lot up. And then summer!!! So exciting.

Thanks for reading!


	5. Four A

_Though the bird has appeared to die,_

_I do not think it means to disappear._

_It knows that it has no song to year,_

_For it will not sing—its song is a lie._

_

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**Four A.**

Mello's eyes snapped open and his head flew up from his arms on the desk.

A nightmare.

One he could not remember.

Not a single image from it flashed across his memory, not one tantalizing snapshot.

This… was the third night in a row.

"You okay?" Matt asked, lit only by the glow of computers and his PSP.

It was four a.m.

"What the fuck are you doing awake?" Mello asked, brushing aside the question.

"Can't sleep. You sure you're alright?"

"Why not?"

"Hm… just one of those nights."

Mello could sense the lie, but he didn't press the other for answers, just like Matt did not ask if he had a nightmare. Unspoken laws dictated their movements. Mello leaned back in his chair, draping his arms on the armrests, and scooted back to kick his legs lazily onto the desk—a habit Near detested."Have you decided?" the words from Matt's lips where harsh and cold.

"Bastard," Mello growled, narrowing his eyes, "You're being an impatient fucker. It's four in the morning. Go jerk off or something. I'm going back to sleep." His voice was snide, sarcastic, bitingly so.

"Bitch," Matt hissed back, but he fell silent, and returned to his game after a fell glare from the blonde.

Mello fell into an even more fitful sleep than before.

Near walked down the street a little uncertainly, twisting a lock of white hair around one of his thin fingers.

He was going to have to go back to BB. He knew both Matt and Mello's names…

He slipped into the apartment, using his own key, feeling as though he was a ghost.

Near did not believe in ghosts. Logic told him they were not real. But he felt like he was not real. As though the stain of someone else's blood on his sleeve was not there, as though this was all some sickly written story.

What if it was?

Was any of this _real?_

_

* * *

_

A/N: I'm a horrible person. I have more written, but you don't get it yet. Trust me, this is a much better place to stop. And I wanted to give you guys a teaser.

I just ate a waffle with strawberry jam on it. o.o Strawberry jam is creepy. But so delicious... ;D

By the way, trust me, you'll be glad you had the teaser chapter when Four B comes along.


	6. Four B

_Take away the moon's solemn light,_

_Expose the sheer monstrosity of the torn-_

_The torn feathers, lying ever-so-forlorn._

_My, my, isn't this a stark sight?_

_

* * *

  
_

**Four B.**

The alarm on Mello's watch went off. He sighed and turned it off.

Someone was moving on the cameras. Mello blinked.

Near entered the door.

"Hello, Mello," he said in his usual controlled, cool voice.

A shiver ran imperceptibly down the blonde's spine.

Near wanted to run.

"Near, what the_ fuck_?" Mello shouted.

Matt burst through the door, eyes wide behind his goggles.

"I came to tell you that I am going to stay with him."

"You little—" Mello began, but Matt snatched his arm before he could launch himself at Near. Mello struggled like a wildcat and it took all of Matt's strength to hold him back. "Why the hell are you going back? That—that fucker is a murderer!"

"Yes. So am I. We all are, aren't we?" Near's eyes were devoid of anything at all. He knew he was sinking into BB's void faster than he could scramble and snatch the sides, anything to cling to in a desperate attempt to save himself. Mello's struggling lessened momentarily.

"W-what?" he stuttered, and threw himself into a fresh attempt to free himself.

"I have used the Death Note. I didn't destroy it. I have also killed with a knife." Empty.

"Why?" Matt asked rather quietly.

"I love him."

Mello froze for a moment, then finally tore himself from Matt, and in one fluid, lethal movement, he had Near pinned to the ground. Near did not fight him.

"No you don't—he's fucking brainwashed you!"

"I'm his Dove."

"You're his _toy_."

"Yes."

"Mello, get off of him—"

"Shut up, Matt!" Mello turned to him with burning eyes of ice.

"I should be going now," Near said calmly.

"Like hell you're leaving!" Mello hissed.

"He knows your names."

"I don't care—you're not going back."

"What about Matt?"

A brief silence.

"Fine," Mello said smoothly, "I'll make it so you don't have a choice." There was a slightly feral gleam in Mello's eyes now. His hands dug into Near's shoulders as he leaned down to ravage the boy's mouth, his ivory lips.

A need was awakened in Near—Mello's frenzied attempt, combined with this violence flashed back images and feelings and memories inside a gray concrete cell. He moaned into Mello's mouth, and the blonde pulled back for a few seconds in surprise, but went back for more, biting Near's lips. The moment was getting heated Mello's desperation driving it forward.

And then there was Matt.

Matt hadn't heard Mello moan with such lust in—since before Kira died.

Mello looked up, and with a jerk of his head, invited him in.

Near and Mello sat up and Matt slid his arms around Mello from behind, attacking his neck. His hands wandered up the blonde's familiar, welcoming chest.

Matt had to admit this was weird, Near being there, but he didn't care. As long as he was able to pull the zipper of Mello's leather vest down, he was fine. As long as he got to touch and feel the one he had given up so much for, he didn't care. His judgment was as clouded by lust as the others'.

Matt and Mello set upon Near, not a word whispered.

This was different for him—Near's mind was torn.

Perhaps this was how the three of them were meant to be. They all completed each other in some way. Though Matt was silent about it, Mello and Near battled in the open.

Matt and Mello battled for Near.

Near and Matt battled for Mello.

Mello and Near battled for Matt.

And in this complex dance, a truce was set.

After all, Near could almost feel BB watching him. Was this his test?

However, his logic was quickly getting swept away with two pairs of arms around him, two sets of lips upon his own. But he felt so filthy. Why did Mello want him to stay? Why did Matt? When they both knew what BB had done… Matt's lips left him for Mello again, but his fingers remained tangled in Near's hair.

Near seemed to have moved to make Mello the center of attention as well, pale, smaller hands curiously drifting, touching, tracing Mello's lithe body. Two nimble hands, one accustomed to stacking cards without hesitation, the other with reflexes honed from gaming, worked at the laces of Mello's tight leather pants. Mello's own hands were confident and demanding as he unbuttoned the front of Near's shirt.

They soon moved to Matt, pulling his goggles away. Near spent a moment marveling at the intensity in those hazel eyes. Out of all of them, Mello appeared to feel the most, but perhaps Matt only shielded the world from his innermost emotions. The redhead heard himself gasp as Mello—he knew from the taste of chocolate—nibbled and licked at his lips, a second set of lips sucking at his collarbone. They had removed his customary striped shirt easily, and as Matt pulled his jeans away, he noted that Mello and Near were kissing again.

All of their lips were slightly swollen from the bruising force they exerted on one another, faces lightly flushed, breathing faster, pulses rushing, hearts hammering.

There was an odd equilibrium on display.

Mello, with his emotions laid bare, forward, aggressive, and Near—challenging, yet somewhat subtle, some strange timidity about him. Yet Near could be just as demanding as the blonde working his pants off. At least, usually. There had been a change in him. Some of the drive was gone. What little emotion he displayed was lost to something colder.

Mello and Near were similar opposites.

Matt couldn't help but notice the shimmer of Mello's hair as it fell over his shoulders, the way Near held some unrestrainable grace as he cast away his clothing. The balance, the precision, the decisive movements.

He moved to them, neatly involving himself again, trailing kisses down Near's pale neck, a light moan coming in response.

Mello slid his arms around both of them and they leaned back onto the floor.

They moaned and gasped as skin collided with skin. There was no thought about how together, and only together, were they all whole. There was not thought of anything. Just gasps, accelerated breathing, droplets of sweat gleaming, and their combined lust driving one another on.

Gold, garnet, and alabaster.

Mello was pulled between Matt and Near, moaning as Matt sucked and bit at the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck.

Mello was smirking.

This was going to be mind blowing sex.

He quickly coated his fingers with saliva and pressed one into Near's entrance. Near's moan and arched back made Mello want to skip preparation and just—his thoughts drove to a halt as Matt pressed a finger into him. He moaned loudly, hips jerking despite his efforts to control them, his errection rubbing against Near, who moaned again.

Matt continued attacking Mello's neck, something he knew all too well that he liked, pressing another finger into him as Mello pressed another into Near, who gasped, driving himself down, craving more. Mello scissored his fingers slightly before adding another.

"Nnh- Mihael!" Near moaned, squirming a little, but loving it.

Mello gave a throaty moan as Matt added a third finger into him as well. It had been a while since he had done this—and he was hot and tight, just how Matt liked him. The redhead removed his fingers and pushed inside of him. Mello let out a loud cry, gripping Near's shoulder with one hand. He removed his fingers from him and pushed inside, holding him by his thin hips.

Why hadn't he thought of this before?

Gold, garnet, and alabaster.

Matt groaned impatiently and began to move. Mello followed suit, still holding Near's hips.

Being filled, and Near's tight entrance enveloping him—Mello knew that none of them were going to last very long, lust spiked higher than ever.

"More, Mail!" Mello demanded. Matt complied only too willingly.

Faster.

Harder.

-More.

They went on, Mello reaching around to stroke Near roughly in time with his and Matt's thrusts.

The white haired boy came first into Mello's hand with a scream louder than Matt or Mello expected. The noise drove Matt to the edge and he willingly let himself go. He came with a cry of his own, muffled slightly as he bit down on Mello's neck.

Mello came with the loudest cry, raw and exhilarated.

They lay panting, trying to stabilize themselves for a moment.

Mello pulled himself from Near, and Matt pulled himself from Mello.

After another long moment of breathing and pulses slowing, Matt dragged himself to the other side of Near, and he and Mello curled closer to him. Near looked up at the ceiling of the place he used to know so well.

The two men on either side of him, love written clearly on both their faces…

Now Near was the masochist. But-

Click.

"Sorry, Nate," Mello murmured.

Near was handcuffed to him.

* * *

A/N: BWAHAHAHAHA. That was really fun to write. Written of course, during health class. Gotta love it. Health and French. ;D This really was fun. XDD A challenge, but fun. Bwahahahaha.

It's not over yet. I spent ages on the phone with a friend planning. Plan? Yeah. I actually did for once. IT'S A FREAKIN' MIRACLE. I never plan. XD Planning isn't normally my style but with as complex as this is getting... I had to. XD

Enjoy!


	7. Five

_As the night creeps across the sky_

_The morning cowers in fear._

_The sun wishes the moon wouldn't leer_

_At the broken little bird's silly little lie._

_

* * *

  
_

**Five.**

Near waited for two hours. Matt and Mello did not stir beside him.

It pained him to know that he had to leave them but… he _had_ to.

He wanted to, in a way that made him nauseous.

He started to work at the handcuffs. There wasn't anything nearby that he could pick them with… and they were tight around his wrist.

He looked down at the pair, gray eyes emotionless.

They looked the same as ever. Mello had a slight pout on his face that reminded him of when the blonde first arrived at Whammy's House. Lost, confused, and wishing he was home in Slovenia.

And Matt, indecipherable. What lay on the surface was nowhere near what the gamer had to reveal. He didn't want to be 'number one' because of what came with that. Matt simply wanted to follow Mello, and whatever Mello wanted, Matt would help him get. Matt… had always sort of been there for Near, too.

"He doesn't really mean he hates you," Matt would say fondly, "He's just being dumb."

Even though Matt was in love with Mello, he would still comfort Near when they were fighting, or when Near got top scores. To know that Mello didn't really hate him was one of the most comforting things, and it had come from Matt.

But would Mello hate him now, after he left?

Near silently pleaded him not to.

He had to leave. Now.

He pulled at the handcuffs, wincing. Must leave. Had to leave. Pain shot up his arm. Go. BB. L. Time to go.

There was a sick crack as the metacarpal bone of his thumb broke. Tears streamed down his pale face, he tasted blood. He couldn't make a noise. Silent. Don't cry out. He gathered himself and shakily stood.

Leave.

He didn't look back. If he did, he might have stayed.

Mello woke to Matt shaking him awake.

"Mell-Mello he's gone!"

"W-what?" he said groggily and sat up.

There was no Near beside him. Only Matt. He glanced over to the pile of clothing that remained on the floor- and Near's was gone.

"How-"

"I had those fucking tight! He must have- he must have hurt himself to get out…" Mello muttered. He got up, muscles protesting at movement, and got the key brom a drawer in the gabinet to the handcuffs. They were still locked.

"But…"

"We have to get him back."

"How?"

"I don't know, but he's going to leave us clues. Whether he knows it or not."

Matt and Mello pulled fresh clothing on, not bothering to shower yet, and set to work. Mello turned the news on one of the screens and stared at it with shock written across his face.

"This is the scene of one of the Tarot Murders, but the orchestrator of them is still on the loose. Citizens of Los Angeles are advised to keep an eye out. Authorities claim they have a lead, but this bizarre individual has still not been identified," a woman on the news said. A police officer came into the camera.

"We are doing everything we can to stop whoever is committing these murders. But so far, we still haven't found substantial evidence."

"Told you," Mello said bitterly, "That's his trail."

"You think that this is him?" Matt asked.

"Let's get a bit of inside information," Mello smirked and got his cell phone from the desk, and dialed. "So, how much d'you want for files on the Tarot Murders?"

Near's hand was healing well, after BB set it. He felt like he was dead. Like winter's frost, which had come so fast, had hidden and frozen every part of him.

"Did I do well?" he asked as he ran his hands through BB's charcoal hair. He smiled emptily.

"Yes, Dove. Beautifully." BB kissed him slowly, "But I have another job for you."

"Anything."

"Monter Malheur. Kill him."

"I love you," Near whispered.

"Oh, Dove, you've grown to be so pretty…"

"M, I'm sending you the case files. The police are asking why L is interested, though."

"It's none of their concern." Snap. "Thank you, though. I'll contact you later." Mello let the mic key up and opened the files he had been sent. He did not know the name of his employee, who also did not know his, but that was for safety's sake. He was a member of the new mafia that had risen, and still respected the very few left of the old order, the old family.

Matt rolled his chair to Mello.

"So, what've we got now?"

"Case one, one victim, Magnolia Merit. Age twenty." An image of the room as the police found it came up on the screen.

Magnolia Merit's throat had been slashed open. There was a lot of blood, but not one sign of a struggle, nothing. A splatter of blood ran across the wall as though it had been done from behind. The victim had been arranged on her back, quite neatly, but her killer had left her eyes wide.

Immediately, they noted the unusual things about the case.

"Magnolia Merit… Matt, this is Near. It has to be him. No one else—besides BB—would put so much effort into something so little."

"Magnolia Merit. M.M. That's for us, isn't it?"

"It's not a white flag though, or a plea."

"No. A challenge, by any means. Wait—look there. Zoom in a bit," Matt pointed. Mello zoomed in on the spot, and realized there was one die lying with the one face up, and a Tarot card shoved in the victim's mouth.

"He's marking them. Look over here though." He moved the picture, and there it lay.

A white feather, tattered and torn, streaked with blood.

"Yeah, it's him alright," Matt said quietly as he brought up the written file from the police. "Magnolia Merit… no connection to other victims that has been noted. Throat slit open, gash four inches long… determined as the cause of death, no shit Sherlock… the Tarot card found in her mouth was placed post-mortem."

"Which card was it?" Mello asked.

"The Empress."

"What's it represent?"

"Do I look like an occult diviner to you?"

"Look it up, dumbass."

Matt rolled his eyes and looked it up on Google. Good old Google.

"The Empress represents mothering, abundance, the senses, and nature."

"Near didn't place that at random. Judging by Magnolia's room she was pretty into nature. Flowers… soft colors indicate a softer personality… look- hiking boots."

Matt scrolled down, glancing over the profile. "She lived alone though."

"She worked at an elementary school."

"Oh- didn't see that…"

"He didn't leave anything else, did he?"

"No, doesn't look like it," Matt muttered.

"I wouldn't' expect him to be too showy, until he starts getting arrgant."

"mell, how are you going to—wait, look at this," Matt pointed at the screen again, to one of the last paragraphs.

"The blood of the victim did not match the blood on the feather, which was identified as a dove feather. Fingerprints were left casually on the knife used to kill Magnolia Merit. No records have found a match."

"Why would he bother, if there is no trace of him living in the first place? And if we already know that it's him? That's all that matters. He's fucking with us, now."

Snap. Mello bit off a piece of chocolate, icy blue eyes conveying nothing but danger.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I'm having too much fun with this, I think. ^_^ Finaaaaals. x.x Chemistry final in two days, and I think I'm going to go insane. I have lots of time to write though, during school, which is nice. ;D I ought to go study some tonight... review some of my notes... D: Not fun at all.

If you're also taking finals at this time, or haven't taken them yet, or whatever, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, MY FELLOW FINAL-TAKER.

Yes, if you're wondering, I'm hyper at the moment. XDDD HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!


	8. Six

_Oh, little bird, please, please fly._

_Without the soft flutter of your wings_

_The night and day carry a certain sting._

_Oh, my, this is no time for you to die!_

_

* * *

_**Six**

Two more victims had come along, and they were nearly identical to Magnolia Merit's death. Mello sent Matt to be his eyes at the scenes themselves, just in case there was something only their trained eyes could catch. But… nothing new. The dice were three high. A feather in precisely the same place in each room. Four inch gashes in each of their throats. The initials M. M.

"Hey Mell?" Matt looked up from the screen.

"What?"

"How the hell does BB know our names?"

"Haven't I told you what L told me?" Mello rolled his eyes.

"Mello, I'dve read your damn book by now if I actually went somewhere besides the grocer's and game shops."

Mello snorted. "He has shinigami eyes."

"Well that's just cheating. Like using cheat codes in Resident Evil or something."

Mello rolled his eyes and turned back to the case he was working on.

Near sat on the concrete ground, chilled to the bone, eyes voids as he stacked dice in a precise manner. The harsh florescent lights of his cell made him feel like a ghost again. Bleached and transparent.

Arms slid around him. He was pulled gently against BB and he leaned his head up.

Lips placed smooth kisses along his jawline as he fit neatly into BB's arms. He turned to place his lips on the other's, a glimpse of crimson gleaming eyes burned into his vision as he closed his own. This was not L, this was BB.

The danger of the situation and how fucked up this all was-

It was intoxicating.

This threat of danger.

Sickening, yet he loved it.

His pulse was rushing as he tugged at sweetly scented charcoal hair, tasting sugary strawberry gam on lips against his own.

"Needy?" BB murmured, lips still against his, Near let out a small moan that was almost a mewl in response.

And then-

His head cracked against the ground as BB let him drop, laughing. Near's eyes watered and stung. He could feel something warm trickling down the back of his head, his neck- blood.

BB giggled before slamming the door shut.

Near looked up to the camera in the corner of the ceiling.

Alone.

Suddenly he was colder than before, as numbness set in.

"Magnolia Merit had the Empress. It suited her. And then Mira Modesty had the Tower, which was 'sudden change, releasing, falling down, and revelation'. And then Monteur Malheur ended up with the Three of Swords, which was 'heartbreak, feeling lonely, and betrayal'. Poor bastard broke up with his girlfriend a week before this…" Mello recounted, his fingers steepled over his chest. He rolled over and looked up at Matt.

They were splayed out across the floor, like they had been on so many days back at Whammy's. The dead of winter had set in, creating a world of ice and fragile things.

Mello's temper was even more unpredictable than ever.

"Hey, Mell, I got you chocolate while I got some ramen."

"Good." The blonde snatched said chocolate from the counter.

Matt didn't comment, he just turned and looked at one of the screens.

"How many people in L.A have names that are M.M. initials?" Mello asked.

"Considering, it's a slightly surprising number. Nine people."

"Nine is a powerful number," Mello muttered.

"Nine is down to six."

"There will only be six murders, though."

"Six sides to a die."

"Right," Mello nodded.

"Should we warn them?" Matt asked.

"Let the police," Mello growled.

"Hm… Near would get past them anyway."

"Yeah. Too easy for him."

"Mello- what are we going to do once we get him back?" hazel eyes watched him.

"Well, Matty, we'll just have to do the best we can to fix him. We don't have any other options."

"Yeah…"

"Let's get back to work," Mello said, and dragged himself from the ground.

* * *

A/N: Well, Matty, you ought to go somewhere besides the grocers and game shops, you silly thing you. ;D Bwahahahahahaahahahahahaha. Half of this was written after I think my... chemistry final? Which I didn't do so well on. owo Sorta sucked. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter as much as I did. It's short, but I sorta like it anyway. ;DDD By the way, I promise more yumminess is on the way. I was up until about... four in the morning last night writing. XD

But! Zemyx day draws near (as in it's two days away. XDD 6/9! LOL.) and I just have to celebrate it. So, it might be a little bit before the next chapter is up. Hopefully not too long though, since the next chapter is turning out pretty well. ^_^

Until next time, Pickles.


	9. Seven

_Snap, snap! The tree limbs break_

_Of every tree the bird has known._

_And still, there are two more birds of another tone_

_But they are not ones to stand and shake._

_

* * *

  
_

**Seven**

"What the hell, Matt?" the words were darts. Matt winced.

"Dammit, Mello, I'm doing the best I can to upgrade the system but the files are-"

"Fix it!"

"I am! What's it look like I'm doing?"

"You like an arrogant little shit!"

"Oh no. You've got to be kidding. _You_ just said that? Oh, _please._"

"What was that?" the words became sharper still.

"Just shut up, I'm working." Mello grabbed him by the collar and spun the chair to face him.

"I said, 'what was that?' didn't I?"

"And you can kiss my ass."

Suddenly, there was a solid impact with his jaw, and Matt, imbalanced, fell from his chair. Mello's eyes were glinting, mere slits in his shadowed face. Matt gingerly held the side of his jaw that had been punched.

"Fuck you," he spat blood onto the ground in front of Mello. Matt's glare was intense, though it was filtered by the orange lenses of his goggles. Mello stood over him and aimed a kick right in his gut.

"Tch, maybe I should just throw you out, as worthless as you are."

Worthless worthless worthless.

It echoed in Matt's mind, reverberating in his being. He looked up at Mello from the ground, and Mello sat on him, but before another blow could be landed, he flipped the blonde over.

"Fuck!" Mello gasped in surprise, and Matt started hitting him. Blow by blow, until he laid his head on Mello's chest, choking back sobs.

Worthless weak insignificant loathsome detestable.

"M-Matt…" Mello whispered from his bloodied lips.

"I-I'm so… so…"

"Shut up- and don't be sorry. D-Don't you fucking dare." Mello placed a hand carefully on Matt's head full of crimson hair. "I-I think I need that every once and a while."

"I'm so-"

"Shut up, Matty." But the words were softer, nowhere near the darts from before. Mello lifted Matt's head and crushed their lips together, the flavor of blood and chocolate mingling in a dizzying mixture. "Just- don't leave me, please."

Matt simply returned the kiss with a nearly violent desperation. Mello snaked his arms around him, holding him tightly, fingers digging into the redhead's shoulders. He allowed Mello to roll them over, to let him dominate and be the catalyst of the reaction.

Mello moaned into his mouth as he ground his hips into Matt, how tugged on Mello's golden hair.

Still, it was different, the air of the moment that they were breathing so heavily in. Alabaster was missing from the gold and garnet.

Matt bit at Mello's sensitive skin at his throat, earning a throatier groan as he leaned his head back.

"Mihael?"

"Mm?"

"I won't leave."

"Thank you."

Not 'I know', but 'thank you'.

As if Matt was somehow saving him from something in the depths of himself.

Mello pulled up and tugged off his black shirt, and then tugged off Matt's goggles- as always, startled by the exquisite beauty he found in his eyes. In moments they were skin clashing and clinging, sweat, and tasting raw emotion. Mello coated his fingers with saliva and pressed two into Matt, who gasped and gripped Mello's shoulders with nearly bruising force. He didn't even wait for very long before adding a third. He knew his masochistic redhead, writhing and moaning under him, loved this. He pulled his fingers from Matt and thrust in, starting to move immediately.

Matt threw his head back, hips bucking at the sudden intrusion, gasping, fingernails creating half moon cuts on Mello's shoulders.

Mello kept the pace going faster, driving onward toward the rush. He reached between their sweat-soaked bodies to stroke Matt roughly in time with his relentless pounding.

_"Mello!"_ Matt screamed as he came between them, and the blonde found release inside him with a cry of his own.

Once the rush had ebbed and Mello lay spent on Matt, chests heaving, Mello smoothly kissed along the other's jaw. As their breathing began to even, he pulled out, watching Matt's hazel eyes.

"Mello-I love you," Matt breathed.

"I love you too- Mail," Mello replied, and kissed him softly. Those hazel eyes seemed a little more relaxed, and some tension was gone from his blonde lover's shoulders.

And yet there was still alabaster missing.

Silence.

Near lay on his stomach, making a stack of dice four high.

The four facing up on the top one.

He stood, carefully, beside Meirza Meadowlard's body.

Cold gray eyes surveyed her slit throat impassively.

"Ring around the rosies, a pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down…" Near sang in a whisper to himself as he cut one slit across the smooth skin of his wrist next to three other scars. He drenched a dove feather in his own blood and set it beside Meirza's left shoulder.

Blood pooled around her body.

Near smirked.

The tally on his wrist was four.

Two more, only two…

And maybe BB would love him then.

And like every tale of darkness, Near disappeared into the night.

Like the ghost he felt he had become.

* * *

A/N: Uhm, I don't think I'll be able to sing 'Ring Around the Rosies' anymore... ever. owo Why do I keep typing these up so late? It's 2:22 right now. XD I need to start going to bed earlier again. Really badly. I'll shuffle off to the warmth of my covers now, before I make more typos and end up beating my head against the desk. That's never, ever fun. So, hope you enjoyed, and goodnight, everyone!

To everyone who has reviewed: THANK YOU SO MUCH. You guys are so cool. ;A;


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